Sunday, January 25, 2015

sad.

*WARNING THIS IS A LITTLE EMOTIONAL*
 
 
so. lately I've not been myself. I was taking finals which went extremely well if you are wondering, but because of studying and homework I have been not going to lacrosse practice and on Thursday, when I was supposed to, I started to feel weird. I've been feeling like this for a long time when it comes to thinking about lacrosse and practice and stuff like that. My stomach starts to close in and I feel like its the end of the world, I start to worry and on top of that worrying, I become emotionally unstable. meaning I start being sadder, and just well to put it simple not good. I think that lacrosse and just general life is giving me a small amount of anxiety. I know anxiety is a big thing and what I am experiencing is nothing like what people with the actual sickness experience, but its the only thing that seems some what close to what I am experiencing. to put it straight anxiety means: "Stress can come from any event or thought that makes you feel frustrated, angry, or nervous. Anxiety is a feeling of fear, unease, and worry. " 
 
ever since I started high school, I have been feeling... alone. I know for a fact that i'm not alone, I mean I have so many people for me, but sometimes I just feel, like i'm annoying, clingy, and just overall too much. I want a perfect friendship so much I feel like I mess up everything else. I feel like I don't fit in. That's the thing about lax (lacrosse) all the girls on the team have their people. They all have their own friends and the one friend I have on the team quit. Now i'm alone and I constantly feel like the girls that are in my grade are judging me. I feel uneasy around them, but I enjoy playing lacrosse so yeah...
 
THIS IS REALLY SAD! UGHHH SARAH YOU ARE GOING TO RUIN SOME PERSONS DAY! LOL! TO END THIS ON A POSITIVE NOTE I HAVE A SONG THAT HELPS ME AND I WANT TO GUYS TO HEAR IT! (DISCLAIMER: ITS A CHRISTIAN SONG AND I HAVE ALREAFY POSTED ABOUT IT)
 
SOOO YEAH! I look towards God in these times, knowing that he is the one that will always be there for me! SOOOO YEAH! Hopefully I didn't just ruin your day! If I did I'm very sorry and here's a picture that will hopefully make  you smile!
(BTW THIS IS DARREN CRISS HE IS BAE!!)
 
This is probably one of the only posts that will be sad. I just really wanted to get if off of my chest, though I have talked to my mom and she just said it was life and that I will get through it and that she's proud of me. I just wanted you guys to know if any of you are feeling this way, there is always someone there for you whether you believe in God or not, he is always there. :)
 
BE HAPPY!!! LIVE LIFE TO THE FULLEST!!!
SARAH :P